Sports arguments compensate for our powerlessness. We will never be permitted on the playing field, court or ice to change the outcome of the game — and even if we were, we'd be toast — so we soothe our nerves by preemptively doubting the efficacy of a play, screaming at it as it happens and second-guessing the whole thing when it's done. Then, because God is unfair, we lose anyway. The loser has even more reason to argue, if only because a verbal battle prosecuted on its behalf is the only thing his team can win anyway. And if you lose — I mean, really lose — there is no argument more fulfilling than that of who has the worst owner.